By Carolina Smart (with comments from Kim Kuhteubl)

I’m not as tolerant as I used to be (me either). It could be age (we’re old) or possibly the wisdom that comes with age (and smart) that has changed my attitude but along this new road I’ve found that some friendships are ending or evolving. So I’m re-evaluating the quirks I tolerated in days of yore and looking for friends who follow the golden rules of friendship (or friend etiquette).

1. Don’t lie to your girlfriends. The end! (!) And don’t ask your girlfriends to be your alibi for anything. For anything.

2. Don’t change (cancel) plans with your girlfriends for a boy (or a man) or invite him to girl’s nights out (or girl get-a-ways). Are your friends invisible the minute you get one? (Remember who will be there for you when it’s over, ten minutes or ten years from now.)

3. Don’t date someone a friend has dated. Even though they tell you it’s ok, it’s not!

4. If someone’s date, significant other, partner in crime is hitting on you TELL THEM. Yes, this could possibly end the friendship, but they shouldn’t be with a slime ball should they? (This will end the friendship or at least make it uncomfortable for a while.)

5. Bragging rights. It’s fine to be excited if you are in a new relationship. It’s not o.k. to make it the only topic of conversation. Hearing that Y chromosome likes this and Y chromosomes opinion is that, gets tiresome after a while. Take into consideration the feelings of your fellow single females. Sometimes they are just coming out of relationships. Also the “mememe” factor quickly becomes annoying.

6. Don’t be two faced. Too many girls are ” best friends” to other women’s faces and hate them behind their backs. (And usually to other friends within that circle. Or just call yourself a Frenemy ”cause you ain’t no friend.)

7. Forgive and Forget. Sometimes you’ve got to, (especially if you know she’s trying hard to mend her crabby ways.) People change and usually that road is bumpy. (Give it some time and then cut her some slack)

8. Give up gossip. If a friend tells you something, she’s telling you – not your boyfriend, husband or the rest of your friend circle. She’ll tell you that she only told her boyfriend, husband or the rest of your friends because she was, “worried about you.” (Usually it’s the friend at the center of everyone else’s business who wants to “help” you who is the best at it. That’s because it’s easier to try and solve your problems then it is to solve her own. Good thing she’s got you to talk about.)

9. It’s okay to love a friend because of their faults too, everyone has them and if something is upsetting you, tell her! (Don’t give me that bs that confrontation is hard. If you’ve got a problem with a friend, tell her – not every other friend in your circle – gently). Being honest with one another always helps! Sure it sucks to be told that you are doing something negative, but when done with love it might help you in the end.

10. When your friend is feeling their worst, remind her how lovely she is.

11. Don’t poach! If you know a girlfriend is interested in someone, he’s off limits (ESPECIALLY if you noticed him because she pointed him out). You wouldn’t borrow her underwear, would you?

12. Respect (and love) your girlfriends. When you give it, you get it back.

(And remember that old saying for every friendship there is a season, a reason or a lifetime.)