I know you hate her. Every one of your girlfriend’s does too. So what? You’re not going to marry her.
I wasn’t a huge fan of Jake – or Vienna for that matter – until he picked her. You gotta love a guy who knows himself well enough to defy popular opinion and pick the partner who suits him best. Forget friends. Forget family. Jake wasn’t choosing a woman by committee. He met the woman he wanted and he went after her. It’s hard not to respect and admire that.
Certified clinical hypnotherapist Debra Berndt believes that’s exactly why the other women ganged up on her.
“That’s typically how the subconscious works. I think they picked up that Jake and Vienna really connected and they were threatened by it,” says Berndt whose book Let Love In has a chapter called “That’s mine”. In it, she discusses why women will fight for men like a 2-year-old child fights for a toy.
“What happens is that they kind of feed off of each other. Because our subconscious is constantly resonating with everyone else’s opinions, if one person starts believing something, everyone will. One person started championing the anti-Vienna movement and everyone went for it. She’s the enemy so let’s tear her down.”
As you know the women’s hatred spread like some kind of crazy Bachelor virus but living separately, Jake was immune from the effects. In spite of the constant backstabbing and coercive tactics of the other women – who were only trying to protect him – he remained strong. Quite frankly I think all that negative attention probably made Vienna even more attractive to Jake. She was like the wounded bird in need of his protection.
But whatever you think of her, it’s obvious they have a connection.
“Your experience of love doesn’t have to be within the boundaries of what other people determine,” says Berndt. There are no rules when you find that person you connect with. You create your own unique experience and you do it in your own way. We can’t be put into these cookie cutter roles in love and that leaves everything open.”
Why do you think Jake chose Vienna?
i think he picked her because she was young and cute and fun, but when they got back to the house and started to live real life, i bet she wasn’t so cute and fun anymore. i mean, the way she described what she wanted from marriage “i just want to wake up everyday saying ‘i love you!!!’” shows she had no realistic expectations of what it will be like to be married to a pilot who is gone a good bit of the time. all she had were romantic ideas of what marriage should be like. i wish them luck, but i doubt it will last…