I heard Jennifer Lopez interviewed about her new film The Backup Plan on Ryan Seacrest’s radio show this morning.

The premise is that after years of dating Zoe (Lopez) has decided waiting for the right one is taking too long so she makes an appointment with a fertility specialist and decides to go it alone.  That same day she meets Stan – the very hunky Alex O’Loughlin – and now she does her best to hide her pregnancy and nurture her budding relationship.

It’s a fictional version of the same decision the women in Three Wishes made in their new book, which describes their account of choosing single motherhood and then almost immediately meeting their husbands.  Although one is not based on the other, this road to motherhood is in the zeitgeist.  In fact, based on census data of unmarried women in their 30s giving birth, as well as the percentages of single women who adopt, roughly 50,000 women take this step each year.

Lopez, who is a big believer in destiny said that the whole point of the film is that sometimes what you think is the plan isn’t actually the plan and that what actually happens is what was supposed to happen.  Get it?  Also that sometimes you realize what you think you wanted may not actually be what you want because something showed up that you didn’t expect and now you’re totally happy.  Got that?

I started thinking, are single women who look for “the one” or who are trying to get it “right” more likely to be stuck in their lives? Do they think they have to wait for him to get to the life they really want?  What would they be doing differently if they weren’t worried they might never find him, get married and have a family?  What would be possible if they let go of the “how” and the “who”?

Now nobody is saying go out and have a kid alone, especially if you think it’s a strategy for finding true love (Lori Gottlieb will tell you it ain’t).  As Lopez said in her interview this morning, she didn’t think she could choose single motherhood for herself but everybody’s life experience is so different that people have to go with their gut and do what feels right to them.

It’s interesting though how making a decision to do something for yourself – whether it’s perceived of as “right” by everyone else – can be can be so powerful.  Go after it.  Take the opportunities that present themselves and trust that whatever happens is what was supposed to.  What do you think?  Would you ever have a child alone?  Did you make a choice to get something and then produce the result in a way you didn’t expect?