The holidays can be a wonderful time filled with parties, gift giving and family gatherings. Or it can make you want to hide under the covers until the ho-ho-ho-ing is done!  For those of us without a significant other, getting through them can be difficult – but it doesn’t have to be.

I’ve spent the last three years without a man in my life during the holidays – my longest dry spell yet!  My last long-term relationship ended three years ago, leaving me heartbroken, depressed and lonely.  Using all my fighting spirit, I was able to pull myself up by my boot straps and find the inner strength to get through the holidays alone. What I’ve learned may help you get through them, too.

Just Stop It

Stop thinking dark, depressing thoughts like “I’m always alone” or “I’ll never find someone to share the holidays with.”  You cannot allow your brain to think these things.  Fill your brain with happy, positive thoughts.  Think Stuart Smalley from Saturday Night Live: “I’m smart, I’m beautiful, and gosh darn it, people like me!”  I also found it helpful to find a mantra or key word to repeat to yourself when you really need to change your mood.  My go-to phrase is “I can make it alone,” a line from one of  my favorite Madonna songs and it just makes me happy every time I say it (to myself, silently – so no one thinks I’m a crazy person!)

Get Moving

Exercise is the natural happy drug – no Prozac needed!  When you work out, your body produces endorphins, which make you feel happy.  It will also help you tighten up, lose weight, look healthier and sexier.  Without running, biking and going to the gym every day, I would have been a total basket case! Take that pain or loneliness you’re feeling and channel it into something athletic.  Push your body to run an extra mile (or just complete a mile,) work out at the gym, play a game of tennis with a girlfriend, go for a hike and be inspired by what you see, or just simply go for a walk around the block. Whatever it is, just get moving and I promise it will make you feel better!

Laugh ’til It Hurts

Surround yourself with your girlfriends, guy friends, co-workers or go out and make new friends. They will make you laugh, feel more self-worth, and can lift your spirits.  You can go see a comedy (no weepy romance movies please!), host a “board game” night at your place or go to happy hour every day until Christmas with your BFF.  If your BFF is in a different city, time zone and place in life, make time to talk to her every day!  She’s the one that always listens, gives you good advice and makes you laugh so hard you nearly pee in your pants!

Get Back In The E-Dating Saddle

If you think you shouldn’t date anyone new around the holidays, think again. There are lots of guys who are in the same boat as you. So why not check out the online dating sites. Being asked out on a date can boost your ego. It feels great to get dressed up and go out. Just keep your brain under control. You know what I mean – don’t imagine your wedding in the Hamptons after your first date!  Keep your expectations low so you don’t get upset if he turns out to be a troll. (I know from whence I speak!)

Give Back Or Pay It Forward

Do something good for somebody in need. Volunteer your time at a soup kitchen or support a cause that touches your heart. It will put your situation in perspective and can boost your feelings of self-worth.

So remember:  stay positive, think happy thoughts and do something good for your body and your soul!