It’s the same old question, can men and women really be friends?
I once knew a couple who had trouble around the issue of his female best friend. He had been friends with her since they were 15, and the girlfriend was just over a year into her relationship with him.
The best friend started to become jealous of his new relationship. The girlfriend was jealous of his friendship but when push came to shove, the guy told his girlfriend he was not willing to give up his female best friend.
That is, until he got married.
Years later, when the same guy married the girlfriend, and when his now wife got pregnant – and hormone crazed — she made sure his best friend was kicked to the curb. In fact, many of the female friends of said guy that she used to tolerate were replaced with safe couples – myself included.
Although it’s pretty sad, I can’t say I blame her.
I’m always miffed by married men who have female best friends. Isn’t that who your wife is supposed to be? I think having someone of the opposite sex to lean on – unless it’s a sibling — is an unnecessary temptation and a potential leak of intimacy between partners.
My friend J – a man married for almost two decades – says that it’s “a lot of pressure on a relationship for a woman to be everything to a man.” He has many female friends. I don’t know his wife, so I can’t speak to her position on the matter, but maybe that’s why they’ve been married so long; she has space to be who she needs to be?
What do you think? Does your guy have a female best friend? Are you okay with it?
Yes, I have experience with this toopic.
I had met a man on the internet from my home town. At the time my husband had passed with cancer, and his wife was also. We had some kind of chemistry there. It was like we were drawn to each other. Then I found out he also had a “friend living with him, to help take care of his wife. There was soppose to be nothing between this girl friend and him. His wife passed, and fond out this girl was still living with him! He said he wanted to give the other girlfriend a chance with him. Fine, I was very hurt. I met someone else and decided to move with him. I was so trying to let go of the other fella. It was so hard, we sang together, laughed together, and so on. I stayed away for 4 years, broke up with the fella I was with and vame back to my hometown.
Well, the first fella and I got to talking back and forth on the phone, and he said how much he missed me and wanted me back in his life. I asked if the girlfrien was stil living with him. He said to let us meet and he had a lot to tell me. He said the girlfriend and him was breaking off, things were not the same anymore, but he had to wait alittle while till the time was right to tell her about us. Well aporox. 3 months passed and nothing had changed with this girlfriend. I should of known better than to see hime again, but I relly cared for him a lot.