Why are you still single is a question that I hear often, but I have to say, I was completely shocked to be asked it by a group of seven and eight-year-old girls.

It was the beginning of month during the first session of a class I teach called “Project Modeling”. This class is part of an after-school arts enrichment program at a local elementary school. The purpose of the class is to give the participants confidence and was open to boys and girls (The boys opted for the Light Saber Class taught at the same time).

We practice walking and speaking on stage. The kids say their name, age, grade, number of pets and their hobby. I went first to show them what I wanted them to do.

When I said that I did not have any pets, one of the girls asked, “Do you have children?”

I answered, “No.”

Another chimed in, “You are married, right?”

I answered, “No, I am not married.”

Then, almost in unison they said, “Oh, you are divorced!”  As if now it all made sense to them!

I was really surprised that 2nd and 3rd grade girls immediately figured that since I was not married, I must be divorced. It did not occur to them that it was possible for me to have never been married. In fact, they immediately started to ask a variety of questions “Why aren’t you married?” “Don’t you want to be married?”

But the question that troubled me most was when one of the girls asked me “Don’t you get lonely?”

Wow, in 2nd grade girls have already been socialized to believe that if they are not married, their life will somehow be incomplete and they would be lonely. I really was shocked!

It has been a while since I was in 2nd grade, but I don’t think that I thought my only option for happiness and a full life was to be married.

I recently watched the Senate Judiciary Committee Subcommittee on Human Rights and the Law Hearing on The Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women. One of the speakers was Geena Davis, Actor and Founder, of The Geena Davis Institute on Gender in Media.

She stated during her opening testimony “Five years ago, while watching children’s entertainment with my then two-year-old daughter, I discovered a stark gender inequality in media aimed at children. That led me to launch a research institute to help rectify these issues. Media images are a powerful force in influencing how women and girls are perceived and valued around the world, and for shaping cultural beliefs and behaviors.”

Ms. Davis discussed the negative stereotypes of women in the media and stated that most of the images of women that young children see are hyper-sexualized, with the women having no occupations, no aspirations and very one dimensional. She stated “the more hours of television a girl watches, the more limited she believes her options are in life. The more hours a boy watches, the more sexist his views become. So there is definitely a message that is coming through strongly that is negative towards women”.

When she spoke of positive images, the only real positive images available are women who are wives and mothers.

After watching this, I started thinking about the way women are portrayed in the media. There are very few images of single women living happy, successful lives. In fact, most of the media images of single women focus on their dating lives, with most of them being divorced and they do not appear to be very happy.

So as I take this into consideration, I can see why the girls in my class had a hard time with the idea that I was still single. As I said to the girls, right now I have a full live and a lot of freedom to enjoy my friends, family and volunteer efforts. If I were married with children, I might not have time in the afternoon to teach “Project Modeling”.

I am grateful that I have the opportunity to work with these girls and show them that it is possible to live a full life as a single woman.

What do you think?  Can you name any positive single women role models for young girls?

Tora Brown runs her own public-relations agency. She has travelled across the world and enjoys fine wine and dining out with friends at hip restaurants. Brown is also the parliamentarian for the Soroptomist International of Greater Santa Clarita Valley chapter. You can find out more about her at: www.torabrown.com