By Holly Higginson, The Mode Life

When Shawn and I met five years ago, I knew something was different about him, and four months later I realized he was ‘The One’. There was something unique about him that was missing from all the other guys I’d dated. For the first time I felt like the first component of my ideal life was in place.

Five years later, when most of our friends are engaged, getting married, or starting families, we are still far from that next step in our relationship. We both know the other one isn’t going anywhere, and we don’t feel compelled to get married, just so we can have a certificate that says so and a ring on our left hand.

Please don’t think I’ve always been OK with this, because it took me about a year to get here. I went through a phase where all I could think about was getting married. I was always planning in my head, and every special occasion or nice date we went on I thought he was going to propose. I even went so far, one night after a few too many cocktails, to cry that he was never going to marry me and we would be stuck where we are in our relationship forever.

Now, I’m happy to be say that I’ve moved away from that mentality into a more realistic outlook on our relationship. If we were to get married, what really would change? We already both make our own money, pay for everything together, and live together. Our plans to buy a house and go on vacations can still happen, even if we aren’t married. The funny thing now, is that since I’ve moved to a more realistic view, Shawn is the one who always says he can’t wait to be engaged. Looking back, I see that a lot of the pressure to get married came from our friends and family. When the time is right, I want to plan a wedding for us, not for anyone else.

The national divorce rate is continuing to fall largely in part because young adults are waiting to get married, which comes as a relief. We aren’t the only ones waiting! If I could give one piece of advice to other young couples I would say don’t give into the pressure around you. If you aren’t ready, just wait. Have a wedding for yourselves (when you’re ready and when you can afford it!) and know that if it’s meant to be, you can wait.

Is waiting worth it? What do you think?